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from Issue Number 1, 2009

A Planet is Worth a Thousand Lies
by Ryan M. Lawson

1917. Guillermo Gonzalez Camarena is born to a small family in Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico. He's said to be in perfect health. However, the doctors as well as his parents are unaware that he is color blind. A result of this naiveté, Guillermo is also completely unaware of his color blindness. Young Guillermo assumes that everyone is color handicapped and the world is painted in black and white.

1922. At the age of five, Guillermo is taken by his mother and father for a horseback ride. While riding along with his father on a giant male horse named, Master Mustachio, Guillermo is thrown off onto the trail. The young Camarena suffers traumatic head damage and is hospitalized for the following month. His parietal lobe is injured.
          When he finally awakes it is discovered that his linguistic capabilities have been altered. Instead of knowing the language of his native land, Spanish, Guillermo becomes fluent in what he later calls Plutonian (the language of the planet Pluto). The language consists of a series of different hums done in what seems to be a British accent. Word of this new language is spread throughout small groups of astronomers in Mexico and America until it reaches Clyde Tombaugh who, eight years later, discovers a small, icy rock floating around in the far depths of the solar system and calls it Pluto. Guillermo is never given credit for the discovery.
         Many highly talented and respected linguists try to communicate with Guillermo but are unsuccessful in their attempts. Famous Danish linguist, Doctor Holger Pedersen, visits Guillermo at age six. After his visitation with the young boy, Doctor Pedersen is quoted saying, "I don't understand what he's trying to communicate. It's as if he's speaking another language!"

1928. Eventually, Guillermo relearns Spanish and English but still feels that his roots are with his alleged native planet, Pluto. He decides he wants to be an inventor. He is still unaware of his color blindness and under the impression that the whole world is black and white.
         The first television license is issued by the Federal Radio Commission.

1930. The planet Pluto is discovered. In an adolescent rage, Guillermo runs away from home to confront Clyde Tombaugh at the University of Kansas. He wants Tom to give him credit for the discovery. When Tombaugh hears of Guillermo's arrival, he locks himself in his laboratory with a bottle of scotch and yells, "Liar, liar" at the young boy through the door. Guillermo leaves Tombaugh's laboratory unsuccessful in his attempt to persuade Clyde to give him credit.
         But, during his trip to America he sees his first television. Guillermo overhears many Americans talking about how great the new invention is but how they wish that it was in color instead of black and white. It is at this point that he decides that he is going to save the people of Earth from black and white and give them color.
         He expresses to a few people that he plans on bringing color to the world. They all offer sympathetic smiles and think that Guillermo is mentally retarded. Guillermo, on the other hand, takes the responses as disbelief and a lack of faith, which then feeds his determination. He returns home three months later and begins his studies at the National Polytechnic Institute of Mexico.

1932. He ends his studies at the National Polytechnic Institute to become an operator at the radio station of Mexico's Department of Public Education. He is given the nickname Chico loco at the radio station because he continually talks about bringing color to the world and discovering the planet Pluto.
         Clyde Tombaugh begins sending Guillermo letters every month in order to remind him that he was the one who discovered Pluto and that he's become a millionaire in the states for doing so. In a number of the letters, Tombaugh dares Guillermo to do something as great as discovering a planet. Here is an excerpt from one of the taunting letters:

Due to my discovery of Pluto (not yours) I have become quite the social butterfly. I've been invited to parties and gatherings of the highest intellectual minds of our time. I've even heard rumors that a script for a moving picture is being created, on my behalf of course, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Some say that he's a washed up old phony now that the roaring twenties are finished, but I say hog posh. What do you think of that? You're jealous aren't you? Oh yes you are! Liar, Liar!

1934. Guillermo begins working in complete secrecy and builds his first monochromatic television at seventeen. However, due to his colorblindness he doesn't see that the television has some color tinting to it. In anger, he destroys the television allowing nobody to see it. He continues to receive letters of criticism from Clyde Tombaugh who tells him that color already exists and that it's impossible to, "bring color to the world." Guillermo sees this as another tactic of Tombaugh's to steal even more from him.

1940. Tombaugh takes pity on Guillermo. He figures that Guillermo is unaware of his colorblindness and asks him to bring one of the televisions he's built to America to see if it actually has color. After some reluctance, Guillermo agrees. When he shows Tombaugh the television, Clyde tells him that it is, in fact, a color television. Guillermo receives a U.S. patent for his invention but becomes heartbroken that he will never be able to see color and claims that his life has been nothing but a lie.
         Tombaugh befriends Guillermo and tries to ease his pain by admitting that he really didn't discover the planet Pluto. He tells him that he actually just stuck a small piece of gravel to the lens of his telescope and for some reason everyone believed him. Clyde reveals his fear that he might one day be found out. He tells Guillermo that he's trying to get a special lens patented for the viewing of Pluto in which a small piece of gravel is stuck inside the lens.

1944. Clyde and Guillermo are arrested in a bar in San Francisco after a man violently contests that Tombaugh didn't really discover Pluto. The man explains that he's tried a million times to find it but it's just not there. Tombaugh tries to prove that Pluto is a real planet by saying that Guillermo is, in fact, from there at which point he asks Guillermo to speak in his native language. Guillermo, having not spoken in Plutonian for many years, begins humming Rimskij-Korsakov's "Flight of the Bumble Bee." The man takes offense thinking that both Tombaugh and Guillermo are trying to insult his intelligence and punches both of them in their faces.

1948. Due to his lack of color vision, Guillermo becomes overwhelmed with grief and slips into a devastating state of depression. So much is his sadness that he moves back to Mexico and locks himself in his house with his television. He refuses to leave his couch unless it's to eat or use the restroom.
         Later he becomes extremely agitated with the program on the channel he is watching but repels the want to get up and change the channel. As he sits on his couch, he begins working on a new invention, the remote control. He builds it using old electronic parts that he picked up from flea-markets that are within reach from the couch. Bubble gum, yarn, and earwax are also used in creating the first remote control.

1950. The Zenith Radio Corporation comes out with a television remote called "Lazy Bones" and claims that it's the first one to be invented. In shock, Guillermo attempts to contact Tombaugh to find out whether or not the news of the "Lazy Bones" remote is true. Unfortunately, Tombaugh began participating in an uprising drug culture and was experimenting with hallucinogens.
         When Clyde Tombaugh answered the phone he accused Guillermo of being a government agent named Agent Bittlesworth who was trying to capture his Plutonian friend, Guillermo.

1960. Guillermo, obsessed with color, tries to force himself to see color by inventing the kaleidoscope. He thinks that by forcing his eyes to see a plethora of colors all at one time they will have no choice other than to acknowledge the bright pastels. This, of course, does not work. He begins experimenting with LSD and magic mushrooms (this suggestion was made by Clyde Tombaugh). Tombaugh feels that the psychedelic drug, psilocin, will help Guillermo's mind and eyes see color.

1965. Guillermo dies in a tragic car wreck while on his way to see Clyde Tombaugh. The night before his departure from Mexico to see Mr. Tombaugh, Guillermo saw color. In a psychedelic frenzy he writes a short note to Tombaugh expressing what he thought some colors were going to look like. The note was found in his pant's pocket and is considered to be the final words of Guillermo Gonzales Camarena:

"I thought red was yellow and blue was banana."

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